Much Ado About Nothing

Posted on 7 April, 2013 by Tina

You know you’ve been waiting to hear the details of my final dating round!

I ended up having two dates on Friday night because The Big Bisou-Off guy had sent me a message the day before, but another guy sent me a message on Friday morning asking if I had free time that day.  So here goes…

Date #1 With Guy #4

K. was the guy born on the East Coast, but raised in France.  That came about because his parents separated or divorced, and his mother happened to be French.  We were set to meet at Amelie at 5:30 p.m. Upon walking in and not seeing anyone that appeared to be him, I took my usual spot at the bar.  As soon as he saw me, T. (one of the bartenders), came over, said “hello” and started lining up the champagne flutes.  “How did you know?” I joked.  He said “I’m pretty sure I know what you want by now!”  Not long after my champagne flight had been poured, K. walked up and asked if I was Tina.  Then he took a seat next to me.  I hadn’t recognized him because, not only was his hair different, but he was drinking a beer!  What guy raised in France goes to a French wine bar and drinks beer?!?!  As for his hair, he was now sporting a mohawk of sorts.  He was still rather cute.  We talked about our associations/ties with France, food and restaurants that we like, how we ended up in San Francisco (though he now lives in Santa Cruz), French language idiosyncrasies, the dating site and so forth.  When we finished our round, I had another champagne flight.  He decided to have a flight of reds, but made the mistake of asking T. for it in French.  T. was slightly brusque in telling him that he didn’t speak French. K. mentioned that T. had an accent, but I assured him that it wasn’t French.  Later on, T. warmed up to K. more and told him that he’s from Turkey.  Somewhere in our conversation, I let K. know that another date awaited me in North Beach at 9:00 p.m., but had assumed that he needed to be back in Santa Cruz and that the drive would be a little long.  He said that the drive would take about an hour and a half, depending on traffic.  Even so, K. was kind enough to offer to drop me off in North Beach.  Once there, he parked the car so that we could have The Big Bisou-Off before parting.  I’d say we had about four extended kisses, amidst a fair amount of laughter.  Although K. is a fairly good kisser, he’s not among my top 3 or 4.  When our time was up, he insisted that I won.  Fortunately for him, it was very close to 9:00 p.m., which didn’t leave time to reap my reward of mangling French for at least an hour or even 10 minutes!  We ended saying that we’d probably keep in touch.  He’s not someone I picture myself dating, but it was a funny experience.

Date #1 with Guy #5

B. and I met at the bar at Panta Rei.  I had only been sitting there a few minutes when he dashed in, sat next to me and asked if I thought he might have stood me up.  “No.  Why?”  He asked if I’d been waiting long.  I copped to drinking with someone else, who had dropped me off.  “So you’re trashed already!” he joked.  B. was born in L.A., but moved to NoCal when he was 18; he’s 42 now.  He was somewhat attractive, but honestly looked better in his photos.  His profile says he’s a chef/cook and that he speaks Indonesian.  I asked if he’d been a chef somewhere in Indonesia.  Apparently, he’s a “surf guide” who also cooks on the boat.  Since they often go to Sumatra, he’s picked up a fair amount of Bahasa.  He showed me pictures of some of the boats for the tours, as well as pictures of the food he’d made.  The food looked fine, but not like some major gourmet effort.  Aside from assembling a plethora of ingredients, Indonesian food doesn’t seem that difficult to prepare, though I could always be wrong.  B. talked a lot and was rather loud.  In the time I had four beers, he had seven or eight.  The bartender, R., also brought us complimentary tiramisu.  I was joking with B. and said “Saya mau makan eggs benedict,” which means “I want to eat eggs benedict.”  To that, he replied “Oh, so you’re inviting me over for the night!” What?!  I asked why he thought that.  His explanation was that he’d have to stay over to make breakfast for me.  I explained that my weekend wake-up time is often early afternoon on the weekends, so it would be fine if he went home, then came by later to make the eggs benedict for me (of course, he wasn’t really invited at all!).  Then he asked if men truly sent me naked pictures of themselves, which I affirmed.  “Classy!” he said.  Yet in the same breath, he said that he’d send me pictures of himself doing yoga while naked, though I wouldn’t be able to see his “junk.”  Ummm, ok.  Whatever.  At one point, B. went to the restroom and returned to find me chatting to the bartender in my limited Italian.  He seemed ever so slightly jealous, but commented that at least I wasn’t on my cell phone checking messages like other women.  I teasingly said that I did that while in the bathroom!  He seemed to take me seriously, though.  I was NOT checking messages in the bathroom ’cause my cell phone was in the pocket of my coat, which was sitting on the bar stool!  Another time when he came out of the restroom, he sat on my right hand side when he’d previously been sitting on my left hand side.  His reason was because he has a scar on the right hand side of his mouth from surfing (so must have been self-conscious).  Yes, I’d noticed, but hadn’t said anything about it.  (However, what type of competent surf guide incurs an injury from his own surfboard?)  Anyway, B. then said that he didn’t like parts of my profile and kept harping on me to change it.  When I made it clear that I had no intentions of changing anything, he said “Well, I almost didn’t contact you because of it.”  “Well, you’re here now,” I responded.  Then he said that Tina probably wasn’t even my real name.  Next he commented that I was wearing “tacky Filipino” shoes.  (That is going to bring a little diatribe all in itself.  First of all, I was raised in Kansas amidst Caucasian people of German, Swiss, Swedish and Irish descent.  I don’t have a single Filipino friend in San Francisco, and only had one in Los Angeles; none in Kansas.  I’ve never been to the Philippines, don’t speak the language, don’t know much about the food and know very little about the culture.  Therefore, I wouldn’t have the slightest idea what Filipinos tend to wear.  Obviously, HE, classy man that he is, knows what Filipinos wear.  All I know is that I was wearing flats with a buckle in a metallic color and, no, they weren’t even bought at a Filipino store; in fact, I think they’re a French brand!)  So when B. lowered himself to hurling insults, I looked him up and down in his orange shirt, canvas shoes, scarred mouth and knowledge of Filipino dressing habits.  “I might shove off” he threatened.  “I wish you would” was my reply.  With that, he stomped out.  I could have cared less.  Less than five minutes passed before he came back to apologize.  He said “I’m sorry.  I don’t know what happened during that last part of the evening.”  He actually said that twice, while I glared at him.  I clarified, “I know exactly what happened.  You drank too much, then became rude and obnoxious.”  He didn’t have much to say after that.  Besides, I ignored him from that point on and he left.  Seconds later, another one of the Italian wait staff, L., came up behind me, started giving me a little neck rub and kept saying “Bella!  Bella!”  I wasn’t sure if L. had heard what had taken place and that was his way of consoling me, but…  I was glad to be rid of that loser, B.  I probably remained at the bar another 15 minutes, texting on my phone and talking to the wait staff before heading home.  B. is a prime example of why I don’t particularly care to date American men any more, but prefer European ones.

Date #1 With Guy #6

Aside from being slightly hung over, I was in no mood to even meet the guy on Saturday morning.  Yet I hate when others flake, so dragged myself over to the Samovar Tea Lounge in the Mission to meet L. at 1:00 p.m.  Once again, I didn’t see anyone that resembled his photo, so took a seat and perused the menu.  I admit, the menu was quite intriguing.  Aside from their brunch menu, sandwiches and all kinds of teas, they have different types of tea services which includes a set menu of tea and food.  The types of tea service are Moorish, English, Paleolithic, Japanese, Russian and Ayurvedic.  Some time had passed without me seeing L., so I decided to order some Jasmine Pearl tea and crackers with roasted eggplant dip.  Once I’d ordered, L. walked up to ask if I was Tina.  His face and hair looked the same as in his profile photos, but he appeared to have put on some weight.  We talked, but he seemed a little nervous.  They asked if we’d like to get a table together, so we moved from the spot where I’d been sitting alone.  L. inquired as to which tea service I would prefer.  I was less enthused about the English tea service, so he decided on the Russian one.  That service came with zavarka tea, tarragon-marinated beets, smoked salmon and horseradish, deviled egg with caviar, herbed crackers, more eggplant dip, fresh fruit (strawberries, cantaloupe, apples and oranges) and a fudge brownie.  I didn’t try the zavarka tea, but the tidbits were quite tasty.  L. is from Maine, has been out here maybe 15 years and is into making computer apps.  He also likes to renovate houses, as well as discuss politics and math.  He asked where I was when he’d originally sent me a message asking if we could meet.  I explained that I’d been in Paris, to which he oohed and aahed over French food.  That led us to talk about travel a little.  He admitted that he’s married, has a child, also has a girlfriend and is bisexual, so he knows that there’s no way he’s the man I’m looking for!  Yet he was curious to meet me and vice versa.  I found him edgy, very polite and extremely intelligent.  He asked if I’d had any bad dates, so I filled him in on the previous night.  “What an asshole!” was his comment.  We chatted for a few hours, but he had to meet someone else (though it was more work-related and not someone from the website).  In fact, he said that he rarely bothers to set up meetings with anyone from the website; he just plays around on it when he’s between projects or when he’s bored.  I walked him to his motorcycle and he said that he’d send me a message later, which he did.  His message said that he’d enjoyed our conversation and was perfectly fine to leave it at that, but he would also be happy to meet again if I wanted to.  He gave me his E-mail address and said the same; contact him or not, it’s up to me.  Then he referred me to a link on political cartoons!  I honestly would like to keep in touch with him, however; he’s quite a unique man and I think we could become interesting friends in the long run.

Date #1 with Guy #7

This morning was, what I’ve promised myself to be, the final date from the on-line dating website.  I didn’t feel like showing up this morning, either, but…  10:30 a..m. found me at The Grove on Hayes.  I didn’t even know there WAS a branch of The Grove on Hayes, having only been to the ones on Fillmore and Chestnut.  I walked in, glanced at a guy that MIGHT be R., then sat on a chair and started playing on my phone.  He eventually came over and introduced himself.  In his profile pictures, R. seemed to have darker skin tone and hadn’t been wearing glasses.  We stood in line to order; he had a spinach and cheese omelette with coffee while I had a cheese omelette with Mexican hot chocolate.  In his profile, R. had said that he likes Hawaiian music.  In addition, his “handle” contains a Hawaiian word.  His profile also says that his ethnicity is black and Asian, so I asked where his ties to Hawaii came from.  He simply said that he’s interested in the Hawaiian culture and loves the music, especially the older, more traditional Hawaiian music.  R. grew up in San Francisco, but isn’t crazy about the weather here.  He does marketing, but currently is unemployed, but quit his job within the last 6 months because he wasn’t happy there.  He believes it’s of ultimate importance to be happy where you work since you spend the majority  of your time there.  We talked about the website, too; he said that he’s met a “handful” of people.  He agrees with me in the sense that I believe most men look at the photos and don’t pay as much attention to what the profile says.  He said that the website should ask more discerning questions so that people could get better matches.  One of his examples was that the website asks if you’d be interested in dating people of other races/ethnicities.  Your choices are “Yes” or “No,” but you can’t specify which races/ethnicities.  I found R. to be very nice, confident and well spoken.  I admitted that I intend for him to be my last date.  “You’re giving up?” he asked.  I said that setting up dates and actually going on them takes a lot of time.  Since I hadn’t met anyone that I have a connection with in the month and a half or two months that I’ve been on there, it’s time for me to concentrate on my other projects and my vacation plans.  If I feel like trying again, it will be several months from now!  When we parted, we merely said “Nice meeting  you.  Goodbye.”  We made no mention of keeping in touch.

That was my experience with on-line dating.  Overall, I’m disappointed, though I wasn’t expecting much to begin with.  Maybe a few of these guys will end up being my friend, but it won’t kill me if none of them do.  Someone on FB commented that it seemed like a season of “The Bachelorette.”  I responded with “I didn’t hand out any roses, though.  I sent everyone home!”

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The Big Bisou-Off or… Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is!

Posted on 4 April, 2013 by Tina

Some guy posted his profile on the dating website and he seemed rather attractive.  Not only that, but he was born in New York and raised in France.  Under things that he’s good at, he wrote “kissing (or so I’ve been told),” or something to that effect.  Our musical tastes also seemed to mesh.  As a joke, I sent him a message stating that several people have told me that I’m very good at kissing as well, and suggested that perhaps we should have a kissing contest.  He wanted to know how we would judge it.  I said that we could kiss until one of us passes out, until one of us turns blue or until one of us has lips so chapped that they couldn’t continue!  I also thought we should call it “The Big Bisou-Off,” but said that he might have an advantage having been raised in France.  He didn’t necessarily think so, but said that he was game.  The main deal breaker is that he now lives in Santa Cruz, though he comes to San Francisco about once a month.  We jokingly agreed that we’d have the contest the next time he’s here.  In the meantime, I advised him to start popping his vitamins and start slathering that chapstick on.  He admonished me to do the same.  That was perhaps a week ago.  Lo and behold, this afternoon I received a message from him saying that he’ll be in town TOMORROW and asking if I was still up for the contest!!!  I bravely, yet hesitantly proclaimed “Why yes!!!”  So we’re going to meet tomorrow in the early evening, have a few drinks to aid in getting our lips lubricated and warmed up before The Big Bisou-Off begins.  It’s time for me to put my money where my mouth is!  I’m confident that I’ll win.  Even if I lose, I don’t think you’ll hear much complaining from either party!  Then again, if he loses, I specified that he’d have to listen to me mangle French for at least an hour!

“Kiss On My List” – Hall and Oates

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Another Musical Monday

Posted on 1 April, 2013 by Tina

…  and I’m still in Hawaii mode.  Here’s J.T. (Jordan Tolentino), who plays with Maoli, performing two of his singles.  The second one, “Sunset  Tonight,” is getting play on the Hawaiian radio stations recently.

“Only Lover” and “Sunset Tonight” – Jordan Tolentino

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Dirty Business

Posted on 31 March, 2013 by Tina

I’ve got four things on my “Dirty Business” list.  These are the things that I don’t look forward to doing, but they need to be done for my mental and emotional well-being.

Dirty Business Number One is to give my roommate his 30 Day Notice.  He won’t be happy.  In fact, I think he’ll try to fight it, but to no avail.  As long as he’s not on the original lease (that would be only me!) and signed a sub-lease with me which states that I can ask him to move out with or without just cause, I think (i.e. hope) I’m covered.  A friend said that, if my house is not my “castle,” then I need to change it up.  Whenever I’ve reached the point with a roommate where their dirty dishes and other breaches of the apartment rules really get on my nerves and where I’d rather stay in my room to avoid seeing them, it’s time for them to go.  This roommate needs to live alone, probably in a studio, rather than with roommates.  I can give him his notice tonight, which means he’ll have to be out by May 1st, the day I leave for Hawaii.  I could give him the notice at the end of April, which means he needs to be out by June 1st.  In that case, it will give me only 3 weeks to look for a roommate, since a week of that month will be spent in Hawaii.  Or I could give him the notice at the end of May, when I’m most assuredly back from Hawaii.  In that scenario, he wouldn’t be out until July 1st, his actual two-year anniversary in the apartment.  Can I stand an additional three months living with him?  I think not, though.

Dirty Business Number Two is to tell Guy Number One from the dating website that he’s not for me.  He hasn’t contacted me this week, which is good news.  Maybe he’s waiting for me to contact him, which won’t happen.  If he asks me out again, I need to give him the “Dear John” speech, even if it’s by text or E-mail.  He’s nice, but boring.

Dirty Business Number Three is to tell Guy Number two from the dating website that he’s not for me, either, although we just went on our third date.  I like talking to him and hanging out with him, but there’s no romantic chemistry.  Same thing; whenever he contacts me again, he gets the “Dear John” speech.

Dirty Business Number Four is to extricate myself from this Malaleuca mess.  A friend and ex-co-worker of mine wanted to talk to me about a “business deal.”  Basically, it’s this company that sells eco/green products; they have supplements, household cleaners, beauty products, pharmaceutical products, etc.  You can make money if you sign up, agree to buy their products and broadcast their products to other potential buyers.  I made my initial purchase.  I hate the website; it’s a pain to deal with.  They say you need to buy 35 points worth of products, which added up to $60 for me, but does NOT include the $13 worth of tax and shipping.  I need another monthly bill like I need a hole in my head.  True, they may be eco/green products that are better for the environment, but I certainly don’t spend $70+ per month buying such things.  I don’t have time (and don’t care enough) to give the spiel to anyone else.  I’m not a salesperson in the sense that I have to go door-to-door and harass people about products that I honestly don’t care about.  I just committed a lot of money towards my next 3 vacations.  In addition, I still need to get my teeth cleaned this year and still have to order new contacts.  So for me, being stuck buying these products on a monthly basis simply doesn’t work.

How do I get myself into these situations?!  Wish me luck getting out of them in a timely manner!

A LITTLE SIDE NOTE:  Guy Number One from the dating website just sent me a text!  Uh-oh.  Here goes nothing, IF he asks me out again.

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Date Number Three With Guy Number Two

Posted on 31 March, 2013 by Tina

Alright, my little chickadees, I know that I wasn’t actually supposed to go on another date with any of the first three guys from the on-line dating website.  However, as I was preparing myself to go see the matinee of “G.I. Joe” today (yup, I needed some beefcake gratification in the form of Dwayne Johnson and Channing Tatum), Guy Number Two sent me a message asking what was up for today.  Well, I didn’t make it up in time to attend Easter mass at Glide Memorial and I needed to get out of the apartment to refrain from maiming my roommate, so I let him know my plans to go to the matinee.  He didn’t have anything scheduled for today, other than the gym.  I said that he should go have brunch and drinks after the gym in honor of Easter.  He asked if I’d like to meet for brunch.  Since the movie started at 11:00 a.m. and it was already 10:45 a.m., I asked if there was somewhere we could go at 1:30 p.m. or if that would be too late.  By the time the movie was over, he’d responded and suggested Polker’s Burgers (think that’s the name on Polk Street), Roam Artisan Burgers on Fillmore Street or The Beach Chalet.  I’ve eaten at Polker’s, but wasn’t all that impressed.  I’ve never been to The Beach Chalet, but know that it’s way out by the ocean and Golden Gate Park, so didn’t think it would be that easy to get to in a pinch.  So the obvious choice was Roam Artisan Burgers.  We made plans to meet at 1:30 p.m., but I was late.  Since it was raining heavily when I got out of the movie, I had to dash home for a quick change of clothes and my umbrella.  When I got to Roam Artisan Burgers, the place was packed, but we found a spot at the bar. I chose the Pacific Blue which had blue cheese, watercress, tomato, caramelized onions and steak sauce with a turkey patty (of course!).  Can’t remember which one he had, but we both drank beer.  The burgers were good and, as I’ve said before, I feel really comfortable with him.  I explained my roommate situation.  He thinks I should go ahead and give the 30 Day Notice tonight.  I could do it tonight, at the end of April or at the end of May, but he thinks tonight is the best bet, drama or not.  Then I let him know that I bought  a ticket to Vietnam and mainly want to see Hanoi, Hoi An, Hue and Ha Long Bay.  He’s never heard of Ha Long Bay, but was impressed with the pictures I showed him.  Since he gets an entire month of vacation from his job, he asked if I thought going to Bali for two weeks was a good idea.  Of course, I think it’s a great idea!  I’ll be missing it myself when I’m in Vietnam, but I simply MUST go somewhere other than Bali this year.  We talked about movies, too.  For some reason, I’d thought that Morgan Freeman had passed away.  He bet me a cocktail that he hadn’t.  Then I looked it up on my Android and realized that I’d lost the bet!  We were planning to go to Pa’ina Lounge for cocktails, but they were closed.  We backtracked to Dosa instead.  He ended up having three Little Devils (El Jimador Blanco Tequila, cassis, lime, spiced agave, angostura bitters, absinthe rinse served up).  I couldn’t resist trying a Maui Brewing Coconut Porter (a beer with notes of chocolate and toasted coconut), then a Bengali Gimlet (Tanqueray Rangpur gin, curried nectar and lime juice served up).  I wasn’t crazy about either of my drinks.  Then again, I’m not much of a cocktail drinker when it comes to San Francisco.  I generally detest any drink that has more than 4 ingredients (those are for GIRLS!), that are too sweet, that are too tart or come with those annoying umbrellas in them!  He mentioned that he had two bottles of Veuve Clicquot in his refrigerator.  I was almost tempted to stop by his apartment, but thought better of it, particularly since I wasn’t even supposed to be on a third date with him! When the bill came, he offered to pay, since we’d only bet one cocktail and he’d had three.  I paid the bill, but let him pay the tip.  Once again, I couldn’t really read him.  He made no moves and we walked quickly back towards his apartment, where we parted ways. I’m 95% sure that he’s not a romantic connection for me, anyway, so why do I bother?  Maybe it was the stress of the roommate situation.  Any who, if he asks me out again, I truly have to decline.

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A Little Roommate Rant

Posted on 30 March, 2013 by Tina

Now I know that this is Easter Weekend and that yesterday, in particular, was Good Friday.  It started out as Bad Friday for me.  I currently live with two guys – one has lived here for a year and eight months, the other has been here for about 7 months.  The one who has been here longer is kind of a jock that constantly works out, eats healthy, ALWAYS eats at home (normally making things in the crockpot), has an antioxidant blog and is a little conceited about his looks.  The other one has a cute girlfriend, works long hours, is quiet, barely cooks and is hardly ever here.  Normally, I post a cleaning schedule so that we 3 roommates divvy up all the cleaning responsibilities.  Since I’ve been going through a little emotional trauma of my own, shall we say, I haven’t cared that much since the most recent guy moved in.  In fact, I haven’t posted a cleaning schedule at all.  However, the basic apartment rules, which both roommates agreed to when they moved in, are still in effect.  Those include the fact that there should never be dirty dishes in the sink – EVER!  I also don’t like things all over the kitchen table.  Since we don’t have a living room, there’s no other common area to socialize other than the kitchen and that kitchen table actually IS used for meals by some roommates and their friends.  Lastly, I hate for things to be all over the bathroom sink, unless it’s something to be used by everyone, such as the hand soap.  For the past 7 months, the apartment has slowly sunk into a disgusting mess.  On occasion, I scrub out the bathtub, wipe down the sink and toilet and clean (mop and vacuum) the floors.  The guy who has lived here the longest routinely empties the trash and (for some reason) enjoys cleaning out the refrigerator.  With that being said, he is also the one that constantly leaves the dirty dishes in the kitchen sink and his personal things all over the bathroom sink. A few months ago, he also started letting the women that he sleeps with use MY bathroom towels!  I put a stop to that quickly, and said to him that I KNOW he can afford his own towels.  After that, he bought more towels and doesn’t touch mine at all any more.  As I already mentioned, not much in the way of cleaning has gone on in the apartment recently.  So yesterday morning I sent a text to both roommates saying that we would restart the cleaning schedule, and that I would also repost the apartment rules to remind them what they’d agreed to when they first moved in.  I also asked the guy who has been here the longest to please quit hanging his sweaty clothes in the bathroom on the nail that holds up a Spanish religious icon.  He responded by asking if we weren’t going to hire a maid.  Then he asked if his leaving his sweaty clothes on the nail with the Spanish religious icon was unsafe!  If the two guys want to hire a maid to do their part of the cleaning, that’s fine with me.  As for me, I don’t want to spend the extra money for the next two weeks because I just recently paid for an overpriced cab ride in Paris, bought a ticket to Albuquerque, bought a ticket to Asia, paid for a hotel in Asia, committed to buying some green eco products from some company and still have to order new contacts.  As for his response in regards to the Spanish icon, I felt like beating him about the head!  My answer to him said “No, it’s not unsafe, but it offends me.”  To which he again responded “Sorry.  Good to know ’cause I’m not a religious person.”  That made me want to beat him about the head even more!  Am I overreacting?!  I don’t care if someone is religious, atheist or agnostic.  When someone you live with has any type of religious or cultural or family icon/symbol/possession, you need to respect it and their attachment to it! I’d feel the same way if he hung something on one of my Buddha plaques!  He often mentions that his dad passed away a little over two years ago.  Let’s say he had an urn with his dad’s ashes in it.  I decide to throw my coat over it.  If he asked me not to, how would HE feel if I asked “Why?  Is it unsafe?!”

(I’m already plotting my revenge.  It could happen as quickly as tonight or tomorrow, or it could take another few months.  Either way, I guarantee you that it will happen!)

Now this has nothing to do with my roommates or cleaning, but…  Lent is almost over.  I can go back to drinking sodas, eating potato chips, eating cupcakes and shopping for shoes.  My annual day after Easter tradition consists of buying Easter candy at Walgreens at 50%, then taking all of the robins eggs (malted milk balls) and jelly beans in the office, where my boss and I eat them until we feel sick!  Can’t wait!

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Let’s Talk About Sex

Posted on 30 March, 2013 by Tina

After numerous conversations with guys I used to work with, male friends, ex-boyfriends and male roommates, I had to write this. Why is it that nearly every man thinks he’s a god when it comes to sex?! Man after man mentions to me that their stamina is amazing and that their junk is bigger than the average guy’s. They also seem to stereotype when they ask me (or tell me) that Asian men are smaller than average. Let me set the record straight on that one right now. Based on my experience, that is NOT true! The absolute smallest, and the next to the smallest, were both from a European country that I’ll choose not to specify (though they were both from the SAME country!). Seriously, they were so small that I wasn’t even sure we’d started having sex yet!  Men also seem to uniformly turn up their noses when French men are mentioned; I think men the world over are intimidated by French men! I have to say that, whenever men brag about the size of their junk, I really want to say “Well then, whip it out. I’ve got a tape measure and a camera right here. Let’s put this down in hard copy for posterity!” Thus far, I’ve refrained from doing it, but that day may come soon! I’ve also joked with guys that, if they want to impress their special lady, they should send her an extra special card.  You’ve heard of guys making copies of their junk on a copying machine, right?  Well, you know…  that copy machine is also capable of increasing the size up to 100% or more!  Just think, you could give her a fold-out card that folds out and folds out and folds out!  Guys who astounded me with the size of their junk – one who actually struck fear in my heart – never said a word in advance. They don’t have to brag – they already know what they’re working with!

I’m sorry if you’re blushing at this point, but let me take this one step further. Have you been privy to hearing people have sex? I’ve heard it many times – the roommates of boyfriends, my own roommates, friends or relatives of friends when you’ve stayed at their apartments/houses, other people in your apartment building and people in hotels. In all honesty, most of it made me laugh – the entire five minutes of it!  One male friend kept bragging to me about how long he lasted, etc., etc.  Lest he forget, I crashed over at his place once after a long night of drinking.  I heard his sexual encounter with his girlfriend.  I daresay, I DID check my watch to see how long it lasted – one could have watched two or three commercials during the entire encounter!  Sometimes you hear one person all into it, but there’s not a peep from the other one! I’ve had a roommate brag about his prowess, to which I want to respond “I’ve never heard a single sound out of your partner!  Is she even awake?!”  Once when I was talking to a friend on the phone, I could distinctly hear the people below me – someone was getting a serious spanking! The one truly impressive encounter that I heard was in a hotel. The couple next to me was going to town, very vocal and it seemed to go on and on. Could it be that you’re highly influenced by your surroundings because the hotel was in… Venice, Italy?!

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The Italians Will Be Thankful

Posted on 28 March, 2013 by Tina

You lucked out.  You probably won’t hear me throw Italian words in this blog here and there, and you won’t even hear me ramble on about Italian class for the next month and a half.  Although my intentions were to enroll in Italian 3 this semester, fate would have it otherwise.  When I returned from Paris, I sent an E-mail to my instructor asking if she’d pro-rate my tuition (which she’d done before) since I’d definitely miss the last 2 classes of this semester due to a trip.  She left me a voice mail (at work!), which I didn’t hear until after the first class had already taken place.  So for missing 3 out of 8 classes, I didn’t think it was worth it for me to enroll.  Next semester, however, is highly possible.  I won’t be going anywhere from the end of May to the beginning of August.  (I can hear you cringing already.)  So, until next semester, “A Presto!”

Categories: Language, Studying | Tags: , , , | Leave a comment

A Little Shameless Advertising and Promotion

Posted on 28 March, 2013 by Tina

SEX!  SEX!  SEX!

Oh, I’m sorry.  I meant…

Let me a take a moment of your time to get to the nitty gritty of the advertising on this blog.  PLEASE, every once in a blue moon, or even once a week, click on the ads under “Useful Links” on the right hand column of this blog.  Apparently, they must be open at least a minute for them to register, which helps to fund my little writing project here.  Feel free to subscribe as well, as you can enter your E-mail in the Subscription area under the Useful Links.  I’m not a starving student or anything like that, but…  I do live in San Francisco, which is expensive as all get out.  I also spend whatever small amount of money I manage to save on traveling and, more often than not, shopping.  When I’m feeling especially reckless, I might even blow it on champagne!  So any help in clicking those adverts is very much appreciated.

Surprisingly, I clicked on them one day just to see what was there.  I’d clicked on one that was advertising Paris apartments.  The apartments they showed were very nice and, by and large, seemed cheaper than the ones listed on the website that I’d rented my apartment from on this most recent trip!  (Wish I would have checked out my own adverts before going to Paris!)

Oh, and tell all your friends.  Tell them I’m the next best thing since Dr. Seuss!

Once again, THANK YOU, MERCI, GRAZIE and TERIMA KASIH!!!

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Date Number Two With Guy Number Two

Posted on 26 March, 2013 by Tina

Sometimes I don’t think some things are even worth mentioning!

J. had contacted me when I was in Paris, asking about my return date.  Upon my return, he asked when we could see each other again.  I said that Tuesday should work.  Tuesday (i.e. tonight) it was.  I met him at The Elite Cafe over on Fillmore Street.  When I walked in, he was sitting towards the end of the bar.  He didn’t seem to recognize me when I sat down next to him.  He later confessed that he thought I was “some black chick.”  His drink of choice for the evening was the Sazerac; mine was the pear gimlet.  He asked about my trip to Paris and was rewarded with tales of my shuttle trauma, food poisoning and how the expat dinner with Jim Haynes was not slated to be.  We then talked about his job, but I won’t get into that here; it was of a rather highly personal nature.  We had 3 drinks apiece, then decided on dessert.  I went for the pecan pie.  We could have shared, but he doesn’t like pecan pie.  He opted to have beignets, which I personally hate!  There really isn’t much else to say.  Conversation was easy, but it seemed as though he was intimidated by me, for some reason.  We walked home; his place is before mine and he was walking really quickly.  I thanked him for drinks and dessert, then we went our separate ways.

His personality is more attractive to me than that of Guy #1, whose seems a little cheesy.  Although he’s a little older than Guy #1, he seems younger.  I still couldn’t really read him.  He seems to like me, but may have been put off this time (possibly by my telling him about some guy who asked me out for later in the week) or doesn’t think he stands a chance.  He didn’t make any moves whatever, but I certainly wasn’t putting those vibes out there, as usual.

Some crazy young Irish guy wants to take me out later this week.  He sent me message after message last night, trying to convince me to see him then.  In so many words, I told him that I didn’t appreciate the pressure.  He assured me that he’s a nice guy, so now he can prove it.  We’ll see what he’s got in mind for later in the week, if he contacts me at all.

Seriously, peeps, this on-line dating life is starting to truly bore me.

Categories: dating, Relationships | Tags: , , , | Leave a comment