For some reason, people constantly ask me for money.  Is it because, for the most part, I seemingly have my life in order?  Is it because I tend to travel a lot?  The reason I’m not destitute is because I don’t live WILDLY beyond my means.  I shop at CostCo, Target and Trader Joe’s for groceries.  Many of my plane tickets are free ones from my air miles gained by buying groceries or whatever.  I go to the matinees of movies, bring my breakfast and lunch to work most of the time, don’t usually buy clothes or shoes unless they’re on sale, and stay in this older apartment where the landlord barely fixes anything because the rent is cheap and affordable to me.  I hate having roommates, but it’s what I need to do in order to pay my bills and maintain my basic lifestyle.  I don’t have a car or kids for a reason.  My immediate family has never helped me out financially.  Then again, I’ve never asked friends, relatives, boyfriends or co-workers to loan me money or a place to stay.  I think I’ve been more than generous in helping others, though.  I’ve let people stay with me temporarily, offered to buy groceries for those that need it, paid off people’s gambling debts, and loaned money to someone to help pay for their daughter’s quincenera because it was two weeks away and they STILL didn’t have the money to pay for it (although the invitations had already been sent and the catering of the dinner was already set up), among other things.  Did everyone pay me back that promised to?  No!  At this point, thousands of dollars are still owed to me.  That’s my fault for being stupid enough to have continued to loan money out.  I often think about who would loan me money if I needed perhaps $2000 right away.  You know, I can’t think of a single person, not even any of those that I loaned money to!  Isn’t that sad?

Another thing that irks me in San Francisco is how there are panhandlers everywhere constantly begging for money or food.  I don’t even carry cash the majority of the time because I’m so tired of people asking me for it.

Which brings me to another reflection on Bali.  Most people in Bali make very little money and live in houses where there’s no running water. They don’t have credit cards, bank accounts, TVs, cameras, etc.  I see elderly ladies in the street doing hard labor such as carrying heavy rocks or pieces of concrete.  I see older men who have really fit bodies from working in the field all the time (their bodies are sometimes nicer than the ones of guys that I see at the gym!).  Yet I don’t hear people in Bali complain.  They seem to accept their position in life and make the most of it, without bitterness or anger.  They don’t believe that anyone OWES them anything more than what they have.  On their small salaries, they manage to save for a car or a motorbike to become a “driver” to take tourists around and make money.  From talking to several Balinese, I also found out that many of them have never been off of the island, not even to go to another Indonesian island that’s half an hour away by plane or maybe a couple of hours away by boat.  When I wondered why, I was told that they can’t afford the departure tax, which is equivalent to US$15.  These people don’t want for anything else because they’ve never seen or had anything else.  It makes me feel guilty for always wanting something new, whether it be clothes, makeup, another vacation, a book or whatever.  Do I need it?  I virtually never NEED it, but I WANT it!  The Balinese seem happy with what they have.  It’s enough for them to survive; they don’t need extra.

On my first trip to Bali, I had bought too many things – sarongs, dresses, shoes, shadow puppets and so on and so forth.  I needed another small duffle bag to fit the extra things in.  I went to a “flea” market of sorts and bargained with a woman for the right size duffle bag.  We went back and forth for awhile.  Finally she said to me “Miss, $1 to you is nothing, but $1 to me is everything.”  That really hit home to me.  I waste $3 to $5 every day on junk food or stamps or something mindless.  I gave her the $1 more that she wanted for the duffle bag and didn’t complain at all.

Since then, I try to be “helpful” to the Balinese whenever I go there.  I buy most of my clothes, jewelry, sarongs, textiles and handicrafts from Balinese businessmen, most of whom don’t take credit cards.  The same thing for massages; I generally go to smaller Balinese day spas rather than going somewhere like, for instance, the Four Seasons (though it’s still much cheaper there than in the U.S.).  I avoid businesses with signs posted outside that say “Aussie Owned,” or “English Owned” or whatever expat business it may be.  I’ve bought umbrellas while in Bali, then given them to the hotel staff at the end of my trip.  Whatever faux jewelry or even silver jewelry from my jewelry box that I never wear, I take and give to Balinese people.  I found a digital camera in San Francisco once and gave it to a Balinese person who I know could never afford such an extravagance otherwise.  I give my left over change to children or the hotel/villino maids.  If I have left over food from a restaurant, I give it to either the taxi driver or the maids.  I’ve taken chocolate for the children of certain  people.  Believe me, they appreciate it.

My new way of thinking is that whenever people ask me to loan them money, I should donate to someone in a Third World country who’s trying to start a business instead.  In my opinion, they are far more needy and worthy, especially because they aren’t privy to even half of the resources that Americans have.  I’ve also thought that, from now on, whenever I want to buy something, I can buy it AFTER I (once again) donate to someone in a Third World country first.  An organization that was recently brought to my attention is www.kiva.org.  You can loan as little as $25 towards funding someone’s business/project and it WILL be paid back to you.  I’d much rather do that than loan money to some privileged, spoiled American who can’t even be bothered to budget their own life with all the resources and opportunities that they have.

I hope you’re with me on that and at least check out their website.  Do something for someone else (who really needs it) and give yourself a little spiritual healing as well.