As you know, I quit with that on-line dating crap as of April.  However, my profile is still on the website and guys frequently send me messages.  I check them every so often and reply to them once in a blue moon.  With the holidays approaching, single men must be feeling particularly lonely and desperate.  I must have received 10 messages on Saturday alone!  As usual, there were only a couple of interest.  One guy, K., seemed down to earth, didn’t want to waste time chatting, Skyping, texting or the like, and gave me his phone number immediately.  He’s 37, 6’4″ and looked cute in his photos.  Believe it or not, we set up a meeting that night.  A younger guy, D., who’s in his late 20’s, 6’2″ and who also looked cute in his photos, set up a date with me on Sunday night, in addition to giving me his phone number.  Why did I agree to go out with either of them after all this time?  I just wanted to see if my expectations would be shot down yet again.

K. and I met around 10:30 p.m. at a local dive bar in the Tenderloin.  We’d both finished up last minute Christmas shopping that afternoon, then he’d agreed to have dinner with friends.  He was at the bar before me.  I was CARDED, believe it or not!  The bar is, seriously, a dive and I’ve NEVER been carded the few times I’ve been unlucky enough to go there.  That already started the evening off strangely.  The place wasn’t crowded at all and was extremely dim.  I took a quick glance around, but didn’t see anyone that appeared to look like K.’s photo or that seemed to be that tall, so I went straight to the bar.  When I sat down at the bar, K. walked up to me.  He’d been sitting in the back.  He wanted to sit at a table or in a booth, so I obliged.  First impression was that he wasn’t as cute as in the photos.  Once again, I think the photos may have been at least 5 years old, if not more.  When we sat down to talk, he couldn’t look me in the eye for 2/3 of our conversation.  That’s a HUGE red flag in my book.  Is he hiding something?  Is he that insecure?  Am I that intimidating?  Or am I that difficult to look at?!  The conversation started off a bit slow.  His profile states that he’s very sarcastic.  I am, too, so we should have been a good match.  He seemed to be trying too hard, though, to be funny and make an impression.  He lives in the Mission (uh-oh), is originally from SoCal and is an attorney for a non-profit.  He’d said something about how I semi-hugged him, which made me immediately dislike him.  Then he talked about how he avoids all of those “douche-y” bars on Polk Street, especially Amelie and PlayLand.  We were talking about the website, which he’s only been on about a week.  Yet, during that time, he’d met up with two other women before me!  He’d mentioned that he wouldn’t be seeing either of them again, though, as they weren’t his type.  In my opinion, our conversation was alright; it was funny at times.  Even so, I didn’t feel any connection with him.  He also said something about hoping that I didn’t just want to “be friends.”  What?!  I’d said something to the effect that, if there wasn’t a romantic connection, it’s always good to make new friends.  Quite frankly, I’d had enough of him within about 30 minutes, but soldiered on thinking that I must be missing something.  When the waiter came to the table to ask if we needed/wanted another drink, he declined, but didn’t bother to ask me or offer another one to me.  Not that I really wanted another drink, as it would only delay our conversation, but I think it’s polite of a person to offer one to you when they’ve invited you!  As I said, I’m a stickler for manners!  Since he was boring me, I asked if he was tired.  He said that he DID need to get up early the following morning to go to brunch.  With that, I said that I was ready to go then.  His next comment was that he had his car and could offer me a ride, BUT…  he was parked a couple of blocks away.  I took that to mean that he didn’t really want to give me a ride home, especially since his car was parked in the opposite direction from where I had to go.  So we walked out together and I was ready to be on my way.  Instead, he kind of pulled me close and hugged me.  WTF?!  Then he mentioned that we should set up another “date” after Christmas.  I was thinking “Hell no!,” but mumbled “OK.”  As I started to walk away, he asked if I wanted a ride.  Once again, WTF?!  Didn’t you allude to the fact that you COULD give me a ride, BUT…  ?!  I told him that I was fine walking home myself.  “Are you sure?”  he asked.  “Of course, this is next to my neighborhood, so I walk through these streets all the time.”  “Oh, you’re tough, anyway,” he laughed.  I went home, had a glass of wine and went to bed, with nary another thought of him.

Luckily, things were much better with D.  We met at Amelie, although he was about 15 minutes late.  I’d already ordered the “Marilyn Manson” flight and had downed my first glass by the time he arrived.  He WAS cute in person, smelled great and was a gentleman.  He apologized for being late.  I explained to him how the flights work during Happy Hour; he ended up ordering the “David Hasselhoff” flight.  That in itself amused me.  D. is from South Africa, went to college in the U.S. and was/is a swimmer.  He’s lived in Ohio (poor thing), then Seattle before moving to San Francisco about 3 months ago.  We talked about travel, what he liked/disliked about the U.S., wine, dogs, music and plenty of other things.  He looked me in the eye the entire time, laughed easily, hugged me a few times, joked around and was very pleasant.  He said that he’d dated a woman in Seattle off of the website for about a month before he moved.  He also said that he’d met various women that had misrepresented themselves, mostly in the form of not looking like their photos at all.  I told him that most of the men I’d met seemed to have posted old photos themselves!  He asked if he looked like his photo.  He did, except that he’d cut his hair; the face and body were the same.  After a couple of flights there, we walked further down Polk Street and had a drink at Lush Lounge.  They wanted a minimum of $20 on a credit card.  Since he only wanted one more drink (he was starting to get a little loopy) and didn’t have enough cash, I offered to pay.  We both had beers, then sat by the window overlooking Polk Street so that we could people watch.  He was sweet, but trying to be a little romantic.  We left after we finished our beers.  He locked his arm through mine and we were walking down the street.  He offered to walk me home, but I said that it wasn’t necessary.  So he asked if I would walk him home and tuck him in.  I said that I MIGHT walk him home, but wouldn’t be tucking him in.  He lived a little too far away for me, though, so we parted ways closer to my apartment.  He hugged and kissed me goodbye and I’m not sure how we left it.  I get the impression that he’ll ask me out again, though.

So why did I go out with a 27 year old?  Because I can, I guess.  It feeds my ego!  I went out with the 37 year old first, but he was strange.  The 27 year old was actually fun and MUCH nicer and more of a gentleman than the other.  Will I continue to go out with a few other guys from the website?  I don’t know.  It’s just something to do.  I still don’t believe that there’s anyone in all of NoCal that even halfway meets my preferred criteria.

I know what I want, but maybe it’s not feasible.  Only time will tell.